Most of us find it difficult to let go of the control we have exerted over our children. So far, we haven't discovered another perspective or awareness-of-being that releases us from this control.
We believe what others -- society, parents, and experience -- taught us about the virtuous nature of the nuclear family model (2 parents, and children). And in this model, we will always be parents. And as such, we will maintain an exalted position of respect throughout our lives.
Unfortunately, our dependency on the efficacy of the nuclear family model is responsible for the distorted perspective we use to judge our children. In many situations, we praise our children's success, and then blame ourselves for their failures.
Similarly, whenever others praise their children's graduation from college, new job, or new home over and over again ad nauseam, we remain silent because our children are encapsulated in dungeons of failure. We become both angry and powerless, which leads us deeper into the bowels of shame for our children's actions.
During our moments of introspective grieving, we begin to do some soul-searching. We wonder if their failures come from us not spending enough time with them; hugging them enough, listening to them; and so on.
We blame ourselves over and over again: Why did they embarrass us by going to prison, getting addicted to drugs and alcohol, and being unable to find and keep a respectable job?
Similarly, we extol the virtues of using Powers of Mind, while doubting this existence of power in our own children. Even though we believe this invisible power exists within all of us, we find it difficult to believe that it exists in someone we have taught to walk, talk, eat, and provided sustenance for their survival.
Nevertheless, we want them to succeed, but we also want them to maintain a connection to the beliefs and values we taught them about right and wrong, religion, God, success, love, and so on. In other words, we desire credit or recognition for rearing our children to become successful adults.
Conversely, we want to absolve ourselves from their failures.
We tend to forget that our children have the power to change their behavior and choose actions that cause them less pain and suffering. We must remain mindful of a passage in the book, "Seeds from the Ashes":
"Who is responsible for changing the way someone thinks, acts, works, and lives? ...It didn't take me long to realize that each individual, regardless of his or her state of affairs, is responsible for changing the way he or she thinks and lives."
Meanwhile, we are responsible for teaching, loving, and providing for our children until they become of age where they can provide for themselves. For most of us, we believe we should always be available to assist our children, even after they become of age.
This means we cannot ever let them go. They must remain our children regardless to what happens. We fervently believe that our children are extensions of our beliefs and values; therefore, their success or failure affects us deeply.
When we evolve our consciousness to become one with our Powers of Mind, we understand that the same Powers of Mind is available to our children. Their enlightenment is not dependent on what we have taught them.
Moreover, whether we're aware of this perspective or not, our children cannot escape the Powers of Mind paradigm: "I acknowledge that I am responsible for the current conditions in my life." In other words, they cannot blame or praise parents for their failure or success
Whenever we praise or blame others for our actions, we devalue our own power. Our parents gave us the beliefs and values they received from others or, in some cases, the Powers of Mind they discovered within their unconditioned consciousness.
Nevertheless, our children are not really our children. When they use their Powers of Mind to create new awareness-of-being, they become greater than the children reared by others' beliefs and values.
When we gain the awareness-of-being to let go of the imagined control we have over our children, they can create their own awareness-of-being enlightened.
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