When I wrote the book, Seeds from the Ashes, I wanted to share with others my reasoning for becoming an advocate for self-enlightenment. I also wanted to know to what extent did I have the power to transform my life. And how do people find themselves suffering so much from their decisions?
As a writer, it's quite challenging to share your exact thoughts and feelings on paper. Regardless to the number of times you proofread the material, there's something missing between feelings and words. The words don't accurately describe your true feelings.
In the case of Seeds from the Ashes, I toiled for several years trying to conjugate my thoughts with my words. There were many times when what I was thinking and feeling were not expressed on paper. I couldn't open up enough to the vulnerary insights to come forth.
At times I was afraid of my ego, my pride. And I found it difficult, too painful, to delve into my thoughts and search for the causes of my actions. Then, to make matters worse, I felt the deep pain and embarrassment of having lived with myself for this time and yet I had no real understanding about how I made the decisions to place myself in this hellhole of suffering.
At some point during the book, I began to realize that I was not alone in my feelings or my desires to change my life. There are many people like me. I am the expression of victim parenthood. I am the one imprisoned in a world of illusions. To me everything is all about living and dying with suffering.
Whenever we identify our pain and suffering with others, we begin to normalize it, make it more acceptable. We feel it's all right to embrace suffering as part of transcendence. This is what we have been taught by others to do.
According to their teachings, we become free of our suffering when we die. In the meantime, we must make the best of lives anyway we can. There's only so much time and if we chase after self-discovery, the world will leave us behind.
Nevertheless, after we think about how we are taught to live, we begin to ask questions: "Who am I? What is my purpose? How do I accomplish my purpose? These and other questions on why we're living the way we do will continue until we seriously begin the self-discovery process. This is the essence of "Seeds from the Ashes."
Seeds from the Ashes is not a novel, love story, nor is it about violence, politics, or even religion. It's a workbook that requires the reader to engage in self-discovery.
It's about our individual powers to transform our lives. It's an awakening for us to realize that books, prayers, meditations, and so forth are tools we use to transform our own individual lives. They are not the final solution to our problems.
It's a reminder that we are always present in everything that happens in our lives. Whether they are miracles, calamities, happiness or sadness, we're always there participating in whatever is going on.
It's a wake-up call to let us know how our beliefs limit us. And how we have the power to change our beliefs at anytime we choose. One of the beliefs that we can choose is enlightenment or self-awakening.
To change our beliefs is a daunting task. I am aware how precious our beliefs are to us, and how most of us are reluctant to change them unless we absolutely have to. That's why self-discovery is so important to change.
It helps us to face the fears causing us to cling to our beliefs. This doesn't mean we have to change all our beliefs, it means we must understand how they were created in our lives.
Similarly, when we understand the origins of our beliefs, we are better equipped to accept personal responsibility for nurturing them for so long. We are awaken from the psychological suffocation of victimhood where we are imprisoned by the illusions of the world.
The realness of the illusions of success, failure, doubt, fears worry, egoism, and so forth inextricably tie us to our beliefs. The illusions validate our beliefs in suffering as being a part of our purpose. This allows us to create more and more suffering while believing we are creating more and more happiness.
At some point the suffering becomes unbearable. This is when we are able to clearly see the nightmare we have created for ourselves. This the point in our lives when we are ready to listen, to seek something to free us from our self-induced nightmares.
Unfortunately, I had reached this point in my life when I began writing "Seeds from the Ashes." Why and how did I make such stupid mistakes to place myself in this unpleasant, undesirable situation? Initially, I blamed others. Then I blamed myself. And finally, I accepted personal responsibility for the social and psychological carnage.
Before we reach the point in our lives where we finally recognize the suffering, and are willing to accept that we're responsible for it, we are busy moving on by playing games with the illusions. We are mired in the miasma of illusory actions searching for the answers to our purposes.
No one can tell us when it's time to examine our actions. We must reach the point of awareness on our own. For some of us it might be a few years, while to others in might be many years. It really doesn't matter how long it takes us to wake-up as long as we wake-up.
Meanwhile, during the time interval between victim and awaken one, we must be mindful of the thoughts prodding us to change, to do something about the way we're feeling about ourselves. Some people call this intuition.
It really doesn't matter what we call it, because it's nothing more than playing the semantics game. We are merely searching for the right words to describe our feelings.
Seeds from the Ashes is one of the steps on my path. My path on this planet is known to me and to those I share it with. We all are taking steps on our paths everyday. It's only when we become aware of them that we are able to understand where they are leading us.
Seeds from the Ashes describes the transformative actions we take to guide us through the self-discovery process. To me, it reflects the awareness of where I am on my journey. And it lets me know that I have more work to do to transform my life.
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