Thursday, April 29, 2010

Overcoming the Regrets from Victimization

"Whenever we succumb to our regrets, we open the door to suffering." 

There's nothing we can do about changing the past. It is something that no longer exists, except when we decide to resurrect it from our memories. As individuals, we are constantly resurrecting memories and attaching ourselves to them. So it's important for us to be mindful of our thoughts and the power they have over us.


By resurrecting dead events into our lives, we are engaging in a process that's designed to create suffering in our lives. And regardless to how we might like to believe resurrection of the past is a harmless, fanciful thing, it can have pernicious results.  Unfortunately, not all of our past memories are pleasant ones. Some of them are experiences we would like to forget, particularly those dealing with abuse, poverty, failed relationships, addictions, crimes, and so forth.

Nevertheless, whenever we revive past memories, we become primary players in intellectual gymnastics: A game based on regrets and suffering. It's not unlike a typical video game where the more we play this game, the more regrets we accumulate and the more intense suffering we bring into our lives. This is the easiest way to accumulate suffering while believing we are having fun playing a harmless mind game.

Throughout history the wise ones have warned us of the dangers we face from looking back. The biblical, synoptic spiritual writers shared considerable insights on the dangers of "looking back."  They warned us to "let the dead bury the dead." And that we are "the resurrection and the life."  And while many people may have interpreted their words to mean people who were actually dead, there are some of us who interpret their words to mean consciousness.

Meanwhile, if we examine consciousness very closely, it's easy to see the meaning of these passages as being related to each individual.  How do we make such a leap from dead bodies to dead experiences? Well, it's quite simple. We have within us both the power to resurrect and bring to life all of our past experiences -- good, bad, or indifferent.

It is our power of resurrection that is responsible for our regrets and the subsequent sufferings from them.  There's no one else responsible for what we think other than us. So when we look back, we, in a certain sense, "turn to salt" like the Biblical Lot's wife. We become victimized by our pasts.

Most of us become so mired in victimized past behavior that we find it difficult to look forward.  Our desires are destroyed by memories of past failures and regrets.  We began to doubt the power we have to do something different; something more enriching. We find ourselves living in the past hoping, wishing our lives could have been different. Unfortunately, we have allowed our consciousness to become overcome with past regrets.

For us to overcome the regrets holding us back, we must embark on a new journey. On this new journey, we must decide what we desire to see in our lives. And regardless to the number of failures we have had, they only exist in the past, which means they're dead.  Whenever we embark on a journey to achieve something, we first must create a strong desire for what we want to express in our lives.  This desire, or desires, must be free from all references to the past.  In other words, we must begin our journey equipped only with our desires.

Similarly, we must begin the journey in self-discovery.  This is not the introspective,  traditional psychoanalysis of self-discovery used my many therapists, but the  intuitive self-discovery of the power we already have within us. It's during the self-discovery process that we clear away the doubts blocking our awareness of this great power. However, on any journey, we need both the desires and the tools to guide us. If we are victimized by our regrets, then suffering will guide us. And if we are endowed with clarity, then enlightened wisdom will guide us.

As some of us know, there are many resources available to guide us on our journeys. Unfortunately, we sometimes are not aware of the resources within us. So we vainly search for answers from the outside.

Some of us might believe someone else is responsible for  "the resurrection and the life" that's happening in our lives. And if we do, we will undoubtedly become deeper enmeshed in our own self-imposed suffering. We lose sight of our own participation in everything that's happening in our lives. In other words, we lose the awareness to understand that we are the ones with the power and the responsibility for our actions. 

As enlightenment-seekers, we are working to achieve the clarity to awaken ourselves from victim consciousness. We are mindful of our actions. We are cognizant that our actions -- anger, hatred, jealously, envy, and so on -- are exact expressions of who we are in the moments they are happening. We are responsible for the intense anger, hatred, and violence we direct toward others and for our compassionate and humanitarian efforts to help others.

Regardless to  how we attempt to deny responsibility for actions, we are justly responsible for both the good and bad as defined by our beliefs. And as one of the writers said, "Deny me and I will deny you." 

When we deny our responsibility for our actions, we deny ourselves.  We are no longer aware of the power within us that's creating and the power that's expressing this creation.  Whether we recognize this or not, we are both creating and expressing everything that's happening in our lives. To deny this consciousness means it will deny us of the desires we want to see in our lives.

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