Friday, January 8, 2010

Overcoming Victim Behavior and Symbolism

Now that the new year is here, we can move beyond the symbolic hyperbole of believing we are actually beginning anew.  Even though this time period doesn't represent our actually starting over, it's still a great time for many of us besieged by victim beliefs to refocus on setting or reaffirming new goals to change how we think and live. 

Whenever we stop to take the time to refocus on what's important to us, it's a momentum's occasion.  This allows us to celebrate by reclaiming the power we have to change our lives. And, regardless to what we call this day, it's an opportunity for us to discover and use the light of enlightenment to guide us in our daily actions. 

Unfortunately, too many of us get caught up in the symbolism of New Years Day and all the resolutions that we forget it's just another day for us to work on achieving enlightenment. Sadly, we like the rituals, the hoopla, more than working on overcoming the challenges creating the resolutions. This is understandable.  It's a daunting task when we must  face the challenges of overcoming procrastination or over indulgences  in food and drink, while constantly complaining about the vicissitudes of powerlessness and its effect on our lives.

When we consider the magnitude of our problems, we want to hide from them by cloaking ourselves in rituals and all sorts of fanciful thoughts of escapism.    And regardless to how we daydream and engage in wishful fancies of someday having the power to overcome our problems, we cannot escape the inexorable challenges looming greatly over us. 

To become engaged in solving our own problems, we must first make the commitment that we are no longer afraid to believe we have the power to do so. Yet, unquestionably, our commitment to change is based on the level of  faith we have in ourselves. 

In other words, if we think less of ourselves, then our faith is diminished accordingly. Conversely, if we think more of ourselves, then our faith is increased accordingly. This also applies to deities we believe in or worship. We cannot have faith in The Creator-God-Lord and doubt ourselves.

Commitment is believing without having actually produced what we are seeking. It is sticking to the task, the daily grind, of doing the necessary work to move us closer to our goal of enlightenment. And commitment means we believe we are empowered to do the work to solve our own problems.

Meanwhile, whenever we take the time to form a vision, we immediately become acutely aware of the magnitude of the task before us.  The process of envisioning ourselves without victim beliefs is an arduous, unrelenting one. It's not as easy as it sounds when we hear it from others. We are so victimized by our thoughts and beliefs in powerlessness that we cannot find the resolve to change anything about us, not even to stop overeating and filling our minds with harmful information. 

Similarly, as enlightenment seekers, we know the difficulties we face in making a commitment to change our lives. We know it takes time to form a clear vision: one without victim beliefs and doubts about our power. And unlike those overcome with symbolism, rituals, and fanciful wishes, we know that an unclear vision filled with problems is wrought with seeds of ignorance.

When our visions are unclear and incomplete, we are unable to remove the ignorance so that we can see what we're doing. So instead of working on enlightenment, we work on becoming successful victims. This means our success is found only in things, people, and places.  It is this ignorance of enlightenment that inextricably tie us to victim lifestyles.

Nevertheless, ignorance is not necessarily something we should eschew, nor should we believe it is a negative reflection on us.   It is merely an awaken awareness to remind us that we must continue to seek clarity. Our ignorance is the expression of our awareness about what's truly important to us. It's what keeps us on the path to enlightenment.  Whenever we believe we know everything, then we stop seeking.

Some of us believe there's a causal relationship between our behavior and the external world.  We think others have conspired against us to plunge us deeper into debt, unemployment, spousal disagreements, relationship problems, and so forth. So we set out to focus our attention on those outside of us.  We want them to change and enter into harmonious relationships with us that are consistent with our visions for them and for ourselves.

The impact that others have on our behavior is significant and, from a victim's perspective, causes us great pain and suffering.  We live among people that we  frequently judge very harshly.  Whenever they do something we don't like, we harbor this dislike, nurture it constantly, and over time claim it as a part of ourselves.  In other words, we allow it to become part of our thoughts.  And we excoriate them in the silence of our homes, strolls in the park or anywhere they spring forth into our world. 

It's natural for us to believe we must focus on the people we believe  are responsible for our pain and suffering.  And armed with this ignorance, we devote our time working on making them become the people we desire them to be. We develop all types of strategies to convert them to our way of thinking and to assist us with changing the way we think and live.  It's only after they rebuff our attempts over and over again that we begin to wake-up and discover that we can only change ourselves, not them.

For us to truly work on making a commitment to change our lives, we must refrain from focusing on other people.  WE must find the compassion and forgiveness to allow them to be who they are without our judgements.  And when we are awaken enough to see where we are going, we will move much faster toward achieving our goal of enlightenment.

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