A few weeks ago, a friend told me that sometimes she's too sacred to enjoy herself. It seems like every time she dreams of doing something exciting, she discovers she doesn't have the money or time to do it. According to her, she continues to wait, hoping for a time when she's able to enjoy herself.
I'm sure most of us can identify with her apprehensions. In this current economic meltdown, it's easy to understand why someone might be afraid to enjoy him or herself.
Most of the people I meet, or talk with, seem to be suffering from some form of economic depression. If they're not depressed about money, or the lack thereof, then it's the stressful struggles of worrying about losing their jobs, depleting their savings account, or venting aimlessly about how the politicians, banks, automakers, and so forth are ripping off so many helpless people.
Whenever financial conditions worsen, some people seem to thrive on blaming others for not being able to enjoy themselves. It's much easier to blame others for our shortcomings. While it's very difficult to accept that we are responsible for our own shortcomings in life.
Nevertheless, whatever you, me, and the rest of us are feeling now about what's happening in our country, we must begin to focus on learning how to empower ourselves to live beyond the fears of a crippling economic recession.
Similarly, even when we believe we're not responsible for what's happening in our personal lives, we still must find the inner resolve to overcome our victim tendencies of blaming others. By doing this, we open our eyes to see how our actions affect the broader society we live in.
When we awaken ourselves enough to clearly see our own participation in what's happening around us, we understand how our roles in voting, buying goods and services, and making investments contribute to the overall makeup of our society.
Even as partly awaken individuals, we're able to see glimpses of the things that cause us the greatest pain and suffering. We see that our attachments to things -- money, people, events, and status -- are more worrisome to us than the worsening economy.
If we don't have enough things in our lives, it's easier to focus our attention on those who control these things. In our drunken state of depression, we blame them for messing up the economy. They are held responsible for our inabilities to take our families to the movies, or take our wife to dinner, or our children to a ballgame.
In the meantime, while we are waiting on things to change in our lives, our kids are growing older and more fearful of what's going to happen to them during these scary times. Even as we console them with inspirational talks on how things will get better soon, they stare blankly into our eyes searching for some type of refuge.
To quench our own fears, we jokingly tell them how poorly our sports teams are playing, and how it costs too much to go to the movies, or dine out. We plead in exasperation, "let's wait until things get better, then we can enjoy ourselves."
Unfortunately, life doesn't allow us to wait on things to get better. To defer our happiness by waiting on things to get better defies the laws of life itself.
During past year, several close friends and family members have lost loved ones -- spouses, children, and siblings. Most of them muse, regretfully, for not having spent more quality times with them. They lament, tearfully in some instances, how they would give anything, or go through anything -- scary times and all -- if they could only have some more time to spend with their loved ones. Unfortunately, they can not.
For those of us who are waiting on the things to get better, we can become proactive in our waiting. Let's begin by talking and listening to the people we love. Let's begin taking our children to the park, or to another happy place. Let's go to the movies, or rent movies and watch them with loved ones. Let's begin calling our friends and checking on their well-being. Let's begin encapsulating our happiness in acts of peace, love, compassion, and mindfulness toward others.
When we give to others, we forget about our selfish desires. This allows us to see we don't need things to make us happy. With this awareness, we are able to ask ourselves:
What do we think about our current status in life?
Do we feel inadequate?
What do we need to be happy right now?
Who is responsible for making us happy?
When we examine ourselves, we free ourselves from the things (attachments) causing us the greatest pain and suffering. To do this, we first must learn to live without our cherished credentials. These are the labels, the things, we have given ourselves to make us feel good and, in some cases, superior to others. These things -- college degree, house, automobile, high-paying job, expensive clothes, and so forth -- can cause us great suffering, if we cling to them too tightly.
The journey to empowerment begins in earnest when we stop clinging to things, and when we realize we no long have to wait on things to get better before we can achieve happiness.
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